god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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