why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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