After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
