handjob tips. give me some.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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