I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
