i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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