GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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