I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You should frame my arrest warrant.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
