I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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