Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
