I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
