i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
