I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
