there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
