kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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