I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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