Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
