Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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