Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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