My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
