he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
