Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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