dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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