yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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