You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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