is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
