Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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