I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
