Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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