I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
