just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
