Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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