If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
