I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
