So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
