I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
