Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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