He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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