I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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