Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
