i would punch a child for taco bell
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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