i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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