this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
