the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
