So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
