Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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