but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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