Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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