so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
