thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
