the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
