every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
