I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
