soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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