we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
