There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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