He asked to "fluff my boner.."
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
